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More sentences to finish
- As ugly as a a scarecrow rejected from a modeling agency for looking too much like a scarecrow
- The one thing I would never say to my in-laws is please stop asking when we are having children because we are still trying to keep a houseplant alive
- The worst haircut ever
- The one thing I would do if I could erase one memory is the time I confidently waved at a mannequin because I thought it was an old friend
- Work smarter, not harder because working hard has not improved my snacks-to-income ratio
- More awkward than trying to pull a push door while someone on the other side watches you struggle
- My childhood dream was to
- Stupider than a person who opens the fridge six times expecting the contents to have developed a new personality
waving back at someone with absolute confidence before realizing they were waving at a dog behind me
saying you too after the waiter told me to enjoy my meal
tripping on a completely flat surface and then staring at the floor like it betrayed me
pushing a door with maximum effort when it clearly said pull in bright red letters
calling my boss Mom during an intense budget meeting and trying to fake a cough to cover it up
saying I am on my way when I have not even decided which socks to wear yet
having a private conversation in public and then acting surprised when people recognize your voice