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More sentences to finish
- The one thing I would never say to my mother-in-law is pretending to get an urgent notification on my phone and making a dramatic gasping sound
- The one thing that makes me instantly happy is finding cash in a coat pocket and feeling like I have been personally selected for a government stimulus
- As annoying as a smoke detector announcing its low battery at three in the morning
- As busy as a restaurant manager on Mother's Day with three missing servers and a kitchen full of smoke
- As slow as a delivery driver searching for an apartment in a building with no numbers
- More useless than a screen door on a submarine during a particularly busy week
- As easy as falling off a log
- The most embarrassing mistake ever
pretending to be deeply interested in a ceiling tile design to avoid participating in group introductions
walking with extreme purpose toward an unknown direction so nobody asks if I am lost
looking at my watch repeatedly during an awkward conversation as if I have an urgent meeting with the president
pretending to check a text message so I do not have to make eye contact with someone walking down the hallway
putting on oversized headphones with no music playing just so people assume I am deeply occupied
staring intensely at a grocery shelf item I have zero intention of buying until the aisle clears out
when you are holding a fish and your phone rings with a call from your dentist