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- Hungrier than a teenager who has just discovered the refrigerator is not a self cleaning machine
- The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done after a breakup is changing my entire wardrobe to look mysterious and then getting recognized by the cashier at the grocery store
- More dangerous than driving home with a birthday cake on the passenger seat and a sudden urge to brake hard
- As clear as mud
- Every cloud has a silver lining and mine is apparently a coupon that expired yesterday
- Nobody believes me when
- Tougher than leather
- As mad as a hornet a hornet that has just discovered someone parked in its favorite spot
make it rain only over the lawns of people who run leaf blowers at seven in the morning