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- The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done after a breakup is changing my entire wardrobe to look mysterious and then getting recognized by the cashier at the grocery store
- More dangerous than driving home with a birthday cake on the passenger seat and a sudden urge to brake hard
- As clear as mud
- Every cloud has a silver lining and mine is apparently a coupon that expired yesterday
- Nobody believes me when
- Tougher than leather
- As mad as a hornet a hornet that has just discovered someone parked in its favorite spot
- More desperate than a person who agrees to host Thanksgiving before checking how many relatives are coming
finding out your new job comes with free coffee and no meetings before nine